A situation exists in my home, where my wife leaves the house to go to work at 3.a.m. She locks the door from the outside. The door must be opened from the inside with a key. This to me feels like she is subjecting myself, and my two, 6 and 7 year old children to an increased risk in the event of a fire. This because I have not been able to form the habit of putting the key in close proximity to the door on the inside. Of course in an ideal world I would be making sure that the door was easy to open, in spite of her actions, but her actions are deliberate, whereas my failures to act are not by choice.

Of course she believes that she is doing this due to other reasonable security concerns, and that leaving the door open at night presents other risks. I accept this but I am not asking for the door to be left unlocked, rather that if she is too defiant to put the second key in close proximity to the door before she leaves, that she wakes me so that I might do it at that point. Which of course would help with my habit forming!!

The reason for this thread is that my wife is beyond reasoning, we cant discuss this, and her intransigence apart from its direct afect on me and our relationship, feels like she is commiting an act of violence upon us somehow or at least abusing the family to a criminal level. Yes there are measures I can take, but I feel like the only ones that are left open now, and will have an impact, will destoy the family.

So I am hoping that any sort of debate here will open her eyes to what I believe is a really bad choice that she is making. Please help by making your comments.

Hi Andy

I think you are over-interpreting each other's actions. This type of situation repeats in most households. If this is important to you, though, you could ask a locksmith to fit the door with a thumb turn override lock on the inside. Your family can then open the door from inside without a key.

Harry

I agree this would be a choice, but money is in short supply! So you dont think the action of my wife increases the risk to occupants in the event of a fire? And also that if most households accept or ignore a particular risk, it makes sense for the rest of us to do so?

Hi Andy

This balance has to be struck by yourself. If this issue is affecting your family, the money for a new lock is possibly a price worth paying.

Harry